hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
