Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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