is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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