she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
