The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
