I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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