He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
