we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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