Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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