You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
