quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
