its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
