If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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