He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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