She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
