so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize