let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
