Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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