i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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