i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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