What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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