I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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