if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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