she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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