I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
