At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
