You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
