I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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