i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
