Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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