i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
