Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
