so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I should be sponsored by Trojan
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
