I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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