you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize