you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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