Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
