win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
