the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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