Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
