Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
