Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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