Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
sex in a hospital.. check
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
