I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
