idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
