doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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