So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
