She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You're like the curious george of whores
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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