dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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