I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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