Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
