Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry jack_meoff hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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(518): View more from New York

Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

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(917): View more from New York City

she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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(209): View more from California

For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious

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