i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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