She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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