hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Someone signed my nipple.
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