Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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